Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road

Assembler Chicken : First it builds the road ...

C Chicken : It crosses the road without looking both ways.

C++ Chicken : The chicken wouldn't have to cross the road, you'd simply refer to him on the other side.

COBOL Chicken :

0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING.
IF NO-MORE-VEHICLES
THEN PERFORM 0010-CROSS-THE-ROAD
VARYING STEPS FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL
ON-THE-OTHER-SIDE
ELSE
GO TO 0001-CHICKEN-CROSSING

Cray Chicken : Crosses faster than any other chicken, but if you don't dip it in liquid nitrogen first, it arrives on the other side fully cooked.

Delphi Chicken : The chicken is dragged across the road and dropped on the other side.

G3 300 mH Chicken : It crosses twice as fast as any Pentium chicken.

Gopher Chicken : Tried to run, but got flattened by the Web chicken.

Intel Pentium Chicken : The chicken crossed 4.9999978 times.

Iomega Chicken : The chicken should have backed up before crossing.

Java Chicken : If your road needs to be crossed by a chicken, the server will download one to the other side. (Of course, those are chicklets.)

Lotus Chicken : Don't you *dare* try to cross the road the same way we do!

Mac Chicken : No reasonable chicken owner would want a chicken to cross the road, so there's no way to tell it to.

Microsoft Chicken (TM) : It's already on both sides of the road. And it just bought the road.

Newton Chicken : Can't cluck, can't fly, and can't lay eggs, but you can carry it across the road in your pocket!

NT Chicken : Will cross the road in June. No, August. September for sure.

OOP Chicken : It doesn't need to cross the road, it just sends a message.

OS / 2 Chicken : It crossed the road in style years ago, but it was so quiet that nobody noticed.

OS / 8.1 HFS+ Chicken : It had much more free space to cross.

Quantum Logic Chicken : The chicken is distributed probabalistically on all sides of the road until you observe it on the side of your choice.

VB Chicken : USHighways! <TheRoad.cross> (a Chicken)

Web Chicken : Jumps out onto the road, turns right, and just keeps on running.

Windows 95 Chicken : You see different colored feathers while it crosses, but cook it and it still tastes like ... chicken.

Windows 98 Chicken : It should have expected to cause a crash while crossing.